Some times I wish I had the courage to end my existence. So whenever I cried and asked for a hug no one had to roll their eyes and sigh like I asked you to move my couch after you worked a 12 hour shift each day for the last 10 days in a row. So that whenever I wasn’t 100% you didn’t have to get angry at me and tell me you’re too tired. I promise I never asked for these feelings, and if I could put an end to them I would. Some times in a moment of tears I hope the sadness will wash away my life as easily as it is for you to fall asleep while I cry next to you. I promise if I could die I would, you’d probably be happier to not have to deal with me anymore. Maybe one day you’ll be rid of me, your way or mine.

Some days

Some days are harder than others because I can’t understand how I’m feeling. My day can be going well and one slight moment can change the mood entirely. I’ll be happy in the joy of company and the next I’m thinking about how I’m fat and everyone in the room hates me even though I know they love me. I didn’t ask to be burdened with these feelings, thoughts, and actions. I can’t help that all I want to do some days is lay in bed and cry while listening to The Smith’s because I feel like Steven Patrick Morrissey is the only man who will ever be able to understand why I am the way that I am. But while some days are harder, there are some days that are easier. I don’t give myself enough credit for the good days, for I’ve learned to be more heavily burdened by the days that weigh so heavily on my shoulders.